her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
