She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
