Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize