you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
