My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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