There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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