I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
