But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
