when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize