I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
