I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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