OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
