I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
