The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize