Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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