Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize