He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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