I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
whose parrot is this?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
