Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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