community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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