yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
