Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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