Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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