I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize