So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
