so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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