I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
