you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
