if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
