why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
this is an emotional support booty call
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
