you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
