none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize