Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
