Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize