AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Did I show you my penis last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
