Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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