took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
