wrigley field is MILF paradise
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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