i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.