Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

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  (508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear (401): ...this stays between you and me http://tfl.nu/qjou
  Replies (6) Good night (1126) Bad night (2203)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand

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  (347): my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand http://tfl.nu/anwc
  Replies (10) Good night (4762) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.

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  (765): yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker. (1-765): yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married. http://tfl.nu/4wae
  Replies (21) Good night (795) Bad night (2599)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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  (404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg
  Replies (27) Good night (4766) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"

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  (301): My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock" http://tfl.nu/tlon
  Replies (53) Good night (9839) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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  (803): I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out. http://tfl.nu/rwiz
  Replies (10) Good night (806) Bad night (3824)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

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  (518): 4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens. http://tfl.nu/m8yq
  Replies (55) Good night (10792) Bad night (3354)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

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  (801): don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy. http://tfl.nu/h3zi
  Replies (16) Good night (7179) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (49) Good night (9471) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.

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  (830): Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/q7ix
  Replies (10) Good night (4534) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"

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  (856): When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one" http://tfl.nu/6em2
  Replies (11) Good night (2928) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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  (778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew
  Replies (2) Good night (1901) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket

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  (267): It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket http://tfl.nu/ws2m
  Replies (8) Good night (836) Bad night (1832)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

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  (512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7
  Replies (7) Good night (3076) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

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  (780): It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk http://tfl.nu/34yj
  Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (420)

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