I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this