I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize