Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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  (248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (991)
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  (619): View more from California

  I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity

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  (619): I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity http://tfl.nu/ljia
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (541)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!

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  (321): well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party! http://tfl.nu/cd3j
  Replies (9) Good night (815) Bad night (2269)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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  (703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am." http://tfl.nu/b7uw
  Replies (18) Good night (6265) Bad night (675)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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  (315): I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse http://tfl.nu/h4gb
  Replies (37) Good night (3234) Bad night (916)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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  (613): Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night. http://tfl.nu/w938
  Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (3665)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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  (863): It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job. http://tfl.nu/q4uy
  Replies (9) Good night (2364) Bad night (749)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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  (315): I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus http://tfl.nu/f2or
  Replies (5) Good night (1410) Bad night (765)
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  (818): View more from California

  we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame

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  (818): we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame http://tfl.nu/cj0v
  Replies (6) Good night (1216) Bad night (772)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens

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  (512): Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens http://tfl.nu/y87y
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (937)
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  (626): View more from California

  I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

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  (626): I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/9qof
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (308)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.

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  (920): Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar. http://tfl.nu/5oi1
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (265)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?

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  (515): I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life? http://tfl.nu/joka
  Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?

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  (805): How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution? http://tfl.nu/e70o
  Replies (5) Good night (452) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

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  (607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (285)

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