He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
