I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
