I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
