I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize