If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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