I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
