I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
