I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
