i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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