And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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