I just cut my nipple shaving
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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