Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
