would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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