Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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