if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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