So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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