Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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