Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
