I think i peed on brittanys purse
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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