what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
