My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
