It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
