guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
