Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
