is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
