"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
