Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
soo... how was my night?
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