You're a womanizer and a bitch.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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