Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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