U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.