is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
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I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.