yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
